The Secret

FICTION

Cathy 17-A-1

Terry could not stand it any longer. He and Ellen had been married for six months, and good months they had been, too. But now the old urge to dress was coming back. He had tried to talk to Ellen about TVs and how he felt about the pressures of life, but he could never get started. Now he knew that he had to get dressed or fall apart. He had hidden a suitcase in the basement when they moved into the house and now he brought it up to the bedroom. He thought to himself that maybe getting dressed would relax him, and help him think of a way to tell Ellen how much he enjoyed it, and how he wanted her love and acceptance. He knew that he would have all of Friday evening to himself, as Ellen had gone with her mother to a ladies club meeting over in Fairdale, 25 miles away. He knew that when those women got together and started talking about the latest fashions, and who had been seen with who doing what, and all the rest of their gossip, they would be there for several hours. Terry would be all alone until at least 10:30 or 11.

When he set the suitcase on the bed and opened it, a flood of memo- ries washed over him. He had collected these things during the two years he had been alone after his parents were killed in an automobile wreck. He had been by himself in that big empty house with only the echoes of Mom and Dad to console him. One evening as he was packing their clothes to take them to the Salvation Army, he noticed that his mother's clothes were about his size. An urge to try them on came over him. He took off his shirt and pants, and slipped a dress over his head. Once he had it zipped, it was not a bad fit. He liked the idea, so he got some of her lingerie out of a bag. He stripped to the skin and stepped into a pair of panties. The cool sleekness of them startled him. He put on a bra, finally got it hooked behind him, and filled the cups with old hose until they were firm. When he dropped the lacy nylon slip over his head, an electric charge raced through his body. What had begun as a

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